Scratching My Ass - Vol. 1
8:56am - Here I sit, bored out of my mind. The morning news rush has come to a screeching halt. I've already eaten breakfast, taken my morning dump, checked my e-mail, had a significant IM conversation. But now I am stagnant. Well, actually, bowels are feelin' a bit funny right now. Might I have a second morning shit?
8:58am - Just re-read what I wrote. I miss writing. I am a writer who has been neutered. Now, I know not what to write of.
8:59am - I just realized that if I don't literally scratch my ass right now, I am a hypocrite.
9:00am - Ahhhhh. I'm glad I didn't cut my fingernails last night :)
9:04am - I suppose I should do something productive at work. I suppose you think I should wash my hands. You suppose wrong.
posted by Ostrich Birdies @ 9:04 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Ahem.
I scratched my ass through my jeans. Yes, it's not as effective, but my long fingernails allow for maximum scratchage.
Also, if I woulda scratched my bare ass, then I would have noted so on the blog, saying that I would have smelled my fingers after the act. I think I'll do that now. Then I'll casually walk through the halls to the bathroom, shaking hands with co-workers, fondling stuff on their desks, brushing the walls with my fingertips, invading the first-aid kit, checking what's in the fridge, etc. :)
Gosh!
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